There are a million methods to pull oneself out of this situation, and many of them require your own two hands. After all, they’re free! We’ve picked up a few of the silliest, goofiest, and yes, sexiest toys now on the market for those searching for something different.
There’s a new method to masturbate here for everyone, from a vibrator that will really order you food to a dildo inspired by your favourite Marvel hero.
1. A vibrator that orders you a pizza for the snack-obsessed
Orgasms are enjoyable. Pizza is also tasty. This, we assume, is the concept behind RubGrub, the vibrating device that allows its user to buy Domino’s pizza after it has completed its task.
What is the mechanism behind this procedure? Food orders are placed via a Bluetooth-enabled button on a Lovense Nora vibrator, which connects to a mobile app that places an order on the user’s behalf, according to RubGrub. Isn’t it strange? Yes. Is it very tasty? Unless your go-to order is none pizza with remaining beef, the answer is probably yes.
2. For the geeks: sex toys based on movies
Marvel fans who want to get up and personal with Thor’s hammer will be pleased to learn that there is a special line of toys designed specifically for you. Star Wars aficionados, the same goes for you.
These pop culture-inspired toys are sold by Geeky Sex Toys, which has a rather on-the-nose name but is great. This is the place to go if you’re looking for a vibrator that looks like a Hitachi Magic Wand but has Darth Vader’s helmet on it.
3. Toys that sway to the beat for music fans
OhMiBod’s Club Vibe range may appeal to frequent clubgoers. Each of the three products – a butt plug and two wearable clitoral stimulators – has a small mic that converts ambient audio into sensations. While we wouldn’t recommend wearing it to a lecture, as one tester did, it may be a fun addition to a more laid-back night out.
Just remember to keep your calm on the dance floor.
4. For those who enjoy personalization, there’s a vibrator that adapts to your wishes.
The MysteryVibe Crescendo vibrator bills itself as the “world’s first body-adapting” vibrator. To put it another way, when you buy a vibrator Malaysia, it may curve into any position the user wants.
Rather than breaking out many toys for different purposes, the Crescendo can be used alone or with a partner in a variety of ways. If you will, think of it as a one-stop store.
5. For the sexters: emoji-shaped sex toys
The eggplant emoji, ah, the eggplant emoji. It’s so purple! So unlike anything that could be considered a human body part. Despite this, the eggplant emoji is a well-known abbreviation for something a little more risque.
Emojibator has created a new range of tongue-in-cheek sex toys based on this veggie emoji. These little silicone vibrations come in three emoji-inspired shapes: eggplant, banana, and hot pepper. They’re as funny as they are sensual. Plus, they’re so un-vibrator-like that if a nosy roommate or family member notices it, they might not notice.